


Bittersweet

by Kittykayla1987



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2018-12-10 18:50:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11697750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittykayla1987/pseuds/Kittykayla1987
Summary: Discovering a secret you've suspected all along, you end your relationship with Steve.  You're heartbroken. Or so you thought.





	1. Chapter 1

You waited for Steve to get back from his briefing. He'd been gone on a mission with Bucky for the last week. You should be happy. Excited even, that he was home safe and sound. But as you stared at the suitcases you had packed and ready scattered around the apartment, you felt nothing but sadness in the pit of your stomach. Clint, Nat and Tony had already helped move most of your stuff to the tower. All that was left was your carry on, and your duffle. You didn't feel as upset as you thought you should. Maybe you were numb? Who knows? But after 3 years with someone, you think you'd feel a little something. 

Keys in the door broke you from your thoughts. "Y/N?" You didn't answer. Steve entered the bedroom. "What's going on? What is this?" You stood, grabbing your bags. "What does it look like, Steve? I'm leaving." "No. You can't do this. Why? I love-." You cut him off. "Bucky. You love Bucky, Steve." His eyes widened. " What are you talking about? I don't love Bucky. We've had this discussion, baby. You know that."

You stopped, hand on the door knob. "So Nat didn't see you making out in the gym at the tower the day of your mission? And don't you dare say she's lying, because we both know she isn't. And you know what really sucks about all this, not including the 3 years I wasted believing that we had a future, what sucks is I fucking asked you! And you lied to my face, and I knew. I knew it deep down inside you loved him and I just chose to ignore it. I'm done pretending. So I'm leaving." He walked towards you. " Y/N, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen, if I could-." "Save it Steve. I don't care. I hope you're happy together. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going home." "Home?" "Bye Steve." And you slammed the door behind you. 


	2. Chapter 2

Upon entering the tower, F.R.I.D.A.Y alerted you to a commotion in the common room. When the elevator doors opened, you hadn't quite expected to see what you did. Nat had Bucky by the throat, on the floor. Clint and Tony were trying to pull her off while Loki and Sam tried to save Bucky. "What the hell is going on in here?" They all stopped to look at you. "Nat, let him go." She looked up at you, letting go of his throat. He coughed, standing up. "What the fuck is your problem?" She made to lunge at him again but you stepped in front of her, shaking your head. She took a step back while you turned to face Bucky. "Her problem, _James,_ is that she's pissed off that someone would do anything to purposely hurt me." He just looked at you, rubbing his throat. "I haven't done anything to you. I've been on a mission and just got back. I don't know what's going on here." You sighed, walking up close to him, and putting your hand on his shoulder. "What you've done, is fuck my boyfriend for the last three years, _pal._ " Sam and Loki both gasped and Bucky stepped back. "Doll, I don't know what you're talking about." "Please. You honestly think that I didn't just have this conversation with my boyfriend, or should I say ex-boyfriend before I came here? Why do you think I'm here? Congratulations, he's all yours." You turned around and walked to Tony, hugging him. "You wanna show me my room, old man?" Bucky didn't waste any time and left, presumably to go see Steve, or the gym, honestly you didn't care.

"I hope you don't mind, but I put you on the same floor as reindeer games." Tony winked at you. "Why would I mind? He's my best friend." "Uh huh, anyways. I'm sorry about all this kiddo. Breakups suck." You both sat down as Nat and Clint entered the room, joining you on the bed. "I'm ok, I think. I don't really feel all that sad. is that normal? I'm mostly angry I wasted so much time with him. And that he lied to me for 3 years." You turned to Nat. "You cant just go beating up people for me, Nat. I'm not even mad at Bucky." She hugged you. "I'll beat up whoever I damn well please. Wait until I see Steven." "Nat-." She stood, dragging Clint with her. "Night, kid!" You just shook your head. Tony stood, heading to the door. "You need anything? Drink? Something to eat? 9mm?" "Funny, _Dad._ " "You're hilarious. I'm just trying to make sure you're ok." You stood and hugged him. "I'm ok, I promise." He opened the door just as Loki raised his hand to knock. "Reindeer games is here!" Tony laughed at his own joke and walked around him to the elevators. "Night kids! Use protection!" You flipped him off. You could still hear him laughing as the doors slid shut.

Walking back in the room, you pulled Loki with you, hugging him. "I've missed you!" He hugged you back. "I have missed you as well, little one. How are you, truly? And don't you dare lie to me." You sat on the bed and he sat next to you. "I'm alright, really. Not as upset as one would think I should be. Angry, disappointed, but not sad. A part of me always knew where him and I would end up." He stretched out on the bed. "Come, lay with me. Get some rest. Everyone has missed you. This place hasn't been the same without you." You laid next to him, cuddling into his side. "You're too good to me." "That's what I do." You both drifted off to sleep.

You awoke the next morning by yourself. You didn't like the feeling that gave you, but you pushed it aside. You headed to the common room, where everyone was having breakfast. You sat between Loki and Tony. Everyone was having a great time. Clint was telling jokes and Nat was giving him dirty looks because she hadn't finished her cup of coffee. Then they walked in. Tony was the first to react. Followed by Natasha. Before you could blink, Steve was pinned to the cupboards. You sighed, putting you head in your hands. "Guys, let him go." No one moved. "Please?" They dropped him. "You're not welcome here, Rogers." Tony was the first to speak. "We have a mission, all of us. Except Y/N." You looked at Steve. "Excuse me?" He squared his shoulders, entering his Captain America mode. "I cant have you on this mission. You're angry and I cant risk you messing this up. you're benched until further notice." You stood. "Like hell I am." "I'm still your boss, so you have to do as I say." He smirked at you. A lightbulb went off in your head. You smiled at him, whipping out your phone and dialing. "Nick? Yeah, it's me. I want off Rogers team. Permanently. You do? When? Anyone I want? Great. Ill see you tonight. 7? Yes. Thank you. Bye." You turned back to face him. "Go fuck yourself, Steve." Nat was smirking. "What was that?" You sat back down next to Loki and took a sip of coffee. "That was me giving a big fuck you to my ex-boyfriend. I'm no longer on Caps team. You're looking at the leader of Shields new S.T.R.I.K.E team, effective immediately." Tony choked on his coffee. "No shit?" You smiled. "No shit." You turned to Steve. "Guess I don't have to do what you say now, do I?" He just turned and left the room. Bucky just stood there. "What?" He just shrugged. "I'm sorry he's being an ass to you. You've done nothing wrong." "It's fine. Buck. Don't you guys have a mission?" Everyone grumbled and started to get ready, leaving you and Loki at the counter. You turned to him. "Game of Thrones?"


	3. Chapter 3

Months went by. Slowly things got back to normal. Well, normal-ish. Steve stopped being a dick. You're sure Bucky had something to do with that, but you weren't sure. The last 3 months, Strike team and The Avengers had taken to working together. You and Loki had taken your friendship to the next level, having realized that your feelings were more than friendly. 

"Rogers, we have visual on the targets. How do you want to proceed?"  
"Strike team stand by. We're moving in. Keep watch."  
"10-4."

Looking through the binoculars, you seen 5 hydra agents outside the perimeter of the building and at least another 8 inside. You saw Rogers team make quick work of the agents outside, but when they reached the door, it burst open from the inside and at least 20 agents poured out.

"Shit."  
"Y/N! Need some help here!"  
"On it. Perkins cover me." Your sniper nodded.   
"10-4, Command."  
"That's so weird."  
"Shut up and pay attention Clint!"

You made it to the door of the base in time to see Steve and Bucky taking out the last 4 agents. But what they didn't see was an agent on the ground behind them raising his gun towards Steve.

"Rogers, look out."

You pushed him out of the way just as the agent fired. 

"Y/N!"

Loki appeared in the room beside you.

"What the hell happened What did you do?"  
"She pushed me out of the way! It isn't my fault!"

Steve was on his comm to Banner.

"Get the jet ready! Everyone on the jet now. Banner, get ready. Y/N's been hit and Loki is bringing her to you."  
"How bad is it?"  
"She's unconscious and hit in the abdomen."  
"Got it."


	4. Chapter 4

Waking up in a hospital bed isn't what anyone would call "a good time". But, working for Shield, it wasn't the first time you found yourself hooked up to machines or the first time you'd been shot. However, this had been the worst one yet. It fucking hurt like hell. Another first? Waking up to James Barnes at your bedside. Noticing you were awake, he grabbed your hand and sat forward.

"How are you feeling?"  
"Like I've been shot."  
"Well, considering you were, I'd say that's normal."  
"Not that I'm not glad to see you, but were is Loki?"  
"Yeah, about that. Fury kicked both him and Steve out of here. They couldn't stop arguing. Steve is mad you had to stop him from getting shot. Loki is mad that you took a bullet for Steve. They're both mad at me because I agreed with the director."

He sat back in the chair, sighing. 

"Y/N, you know I'm really sorry, right?"  
"Bucky, we've been over this. I'm OK. It's OK."  
"It really isn't, doll. What we did, what I did, wasn't OK. I should have pushed him harder to tell you. I should have told you. I just couldn't fathom the what ifs."  
"What do you mean the what ifs?"  
"I mean if I had given him an ultimatum and he chose you. I couldn't even think about it. The thought of losing him compromised everything I've ever believed in and I'm so sorry."  
"Bucky, listen to me. Before we even found out you were alive, I knew how he felt about you. He went into the ice loving you and he came out loving you. Listening to him talk about you and the past, i just knew. And still I chose to date him. To move in with him. I thought I could make him love me like he loved you. But I was fooling myself. And you know what? I realized I had slowly started to fall out of love with him. And in love with someone else. Everyone noticed. Except him, because he spent his time with you. So none of us are innocent in this. It isn't on you. I don't blame you. Hell, I don't even blame him. Loving someone for 75 years? 80 years? That's something everyone wants. So stop saying sorry dammit."  
"You're going to make me fucking cry."  
You laughed, immediately grabbing your side.  
"Ow. Don't make me fucking laugh! It hurts!"  
"Sorry! Sorry. Sit tight, I'll go locate your whatever he is." He winked at you.

"Hello, love."  
You must have dozed off. Next thing you know, Loki was perched on your bedside.  
"Hey, Lo."  
He took your hand in his.  
"I almost lost you today. All because of that stupid buffoon."  
"Don't be mad at him. I chose to push him out of the way. I knew what was going to happen. I would do it again. He's still my friend and a human being regardless of what he's done."  
"You are too kind to people. If you would have died-."  
"But I didn't. I'm here Loki. And i'm not going anywhere."  
"No, you're right about that. Marry me?"  
"Are you being serious? Loki, I'm laying in a hospital bed. I look like hell. This is no time for a proposal."  
He leaned down and kissed you.  
"You're perfect no matter what you look like. Marry me?"  
You smiled, nodding.  
"Yes."  
"Yes?"  
"Yes, I'll marry you."

"You'll what??"  
You both looked up to see Tony in the doorway.  
"Did you just agree to marry him?"  
You nodded. Smiling.  
"Reindeer games and Y/N are getting married!"  
He yelled down the hall, running to the waiting room.

You looked up at Loki.  
"You know they'll all be in here in a minute, right?"  
He sighed.  
"Unfortunately. Kiss me, quick before they get in here."  
You smiled, leaning up to kiss him.

Maybe getting shot wasn't so bad after all.


	5. Chapter 5

Nat: How u feelin?   
You: B-O-R-E-D  
Nat: U gotta heal. Rest.  
You: Been here 3 days. I'm rested  
Nat: dnt make me come sit on you.  
You: kinky. r u sure I didn't die?   
Nat: no, u didn't die  
You: u sure? I think i died and this is hell.  
Nat: drama queen. heal. we have a wedding to plan  
You:<3 yessssss. where is my sexy neways?  
Nat: Ewww. he got called on mission w Tony. urgent.  
You: blah. that's an interesting combo  
Nat: yea, they've been getting along  
You: good  
Nat: Tony is trying 4 u. cnt stand loki but he loves you like   
a daughter so hes being nice.  
You: I'm glad. He should. he's old like a dad soooo lmfao  
You: no 4real I'm glad. they're both important 2 me  
Nat: i see how i rank  
You: grrl u my #1 bitch   
Nat: damn straight. ;) now get some rest. see u 2morrow  
You: night :*


	6. Chapter 6

A knock on your door drew your attention from your phone. It was Steve.  
"Can I come in?"  
"Of course. What's up?"  
He took a seat next you on the bed.   
"I'm sorry. I should have been paying attention and your laying here in this bed because of it."  
"Steve. Stop. This isn't your fault. This is that Hydra agents fault. What happened to him anyways?"  
"Once Loki got you safely to the jet, he went back for him. He's in pieces somewhere."  
"That's oddly hot."  
"Gross, Y/N." He laughed.  
"I really am sorry. About everything. I had no right to cheat on you. Then treat you like shit afterwards like it was your fault we broke up. That was a crap move."  
You took his hand in yours.  
"Steve, we're good. I'm OK. I accept your apology. I forgave you a long time ago. I've already had this conversation with Bucky."  
"I know. He told me. I still needed to say I was sorry."  
"Well, now that you have, can we go back to friends please?"  
"Can you not get shot for me anymore?"  
"Can't make any promises, Captain. If I see a friend in danger, I'm going to react. It's what I do."  
"Try?"  
You smiled at him.   
"I'll try."  
"Good. So you're getting married huh?"

He smiled at you. You didn't see anything malicious in his eyes, only sincerity.  
"Yeah. I guess I am. It's crazy. A year ago if you would have told me this was going to be my life, I'd have told you you were crazy."  
"Yeah, alot has changed. For the better. You and Loki? It makes sense. Your crazy matches his crazy."  
He laughed and you swatted his arm.  
"Ass."  
You smiled at him.   
"This is nice. I've missed this. We're a couple of idiots."  
He hugged you.  
"That we are, doll. That we are."


	7. Chapter 7

Coming home from the hospital was an adventure, to say the least. Everyone was hovering over you and frankly, it was driving you insane.

"Tony, I'm fine. I promise."  
"I think you need more pillows. I'm gonna go get some more pillows."  
"Tony, really. I don't need-."

He came back with 4 pillows.

"Nat, I can walk myself to the kitchen."  
"You're still healing. Y/N. I've got you."

"Loki, if you don't knock it off, I'm going to punch you."  
"Darling, I'm just trying to change your bandages."

"EVERYONE STOP!"  
They all turned to look at you.   
"I love you all and I'm glad you're trying to help, but for the love of all things holy, I need some space! I'll be in my room."

2 hours later, Loki ventured into your shared room.

"Feeling better?  
"I'm sorry, Lo. I just got overwhelmed."  
"No need to apologize. You're right, we were all over bearing. Rogers talked some sense into us."  
"He did?"  
"Yes. And we're all sorry. Now, I need to talk to you about something very important."  
"You've got your serious voice. What's wrong?"  
"Nothing is wrong. I've just been thinking about something."  
"Like?"  
"You're mortal and I'm not."  
"You're just realizing this? Should I be worried? Is this the part where you tell me we don;t belong together or something?"  
"No. No, no no. Quite the opposite actually."  
"What does that mean?"  
"It means that when we wed, I want to preform a ritual to make you immortal."  
You could only just stare.  
"Say something, love."  
"You want to live with me, literally forever?"  
"That's the whole point, yes."  
"I'm obnoxious. And annoying. and Overbearing. What happens when you get sick of me?"  
"That's impossible. You're perfect. If you're all those things, I'm ten times worse. I want you for always. Now, the question is, do you want me forever?"  
"You're joking, right? I want you beyond forever."  
"So you're saying?"  
"I'm saying yes, you idiot."  
You've never seen Loki smile as big as he did in that moment. He laid next to you, pulling you close.   
"When those stitches come out, I'm going to show you what we're going to spend eternity doing."

You laughed, snuggling closer.

When something ends, it's opening the door for something better. Stay strong.


End file.
